


And a Happy New Year...

by felisblanco



Category: Angel: the Series RPF, Buffy the Vampire Slayer RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-12-14
Updated: 2005-12-14
Packaged: 2017-11-10 01:17:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/460616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felisblanco/pseuds/felisblanco
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Christmas 2005. Unbeta'd.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And a Happy New Year...

Tired. Head aching, back aching, each tiny muscle in his body feeling every single one of his 43 years. Shouldn't insisted on doing his own stunts. Shouldn't have acted that desperate. Kicking off his shoes, throwing his jacket on a chair and scooping up the mail from the floor. Bills, bills, bi…

Frozen he stops in the middle of the hall, leaflets and bills fluttering to the floor like gigantic snowflakes, fingers leaving sweaty prints on the one envelope left in his hand. The writing is sloppy, he’d even say shaky if he didn’t know better. His name hesitant, not supposed to be written, not supposed to be remembered. Address misspelled. Ink smudged at the bottom, the round circles of a thumb forever preserved.

Slowly he walks into the kitchen and sits down, the battered old chair creaking under his weight. He puts the envelope on the table, where it lies, looking innocent and insignificant. Maybe it is. Maybe…

18 months. 18 months of nothing and then suddenly this. Why? What is his game?

He reaches for it but pulls back his hand again, not quite ready yet. Closing his eyes his mind conjures up a picture of the three of them, sitting smiling in front off a Christmas tree, the dogs by their feet, the beginning of a belly possibly pushing at her silk dress. Playing Happy Family. No, not playing. Being. Perfect.

No, he wouldn’t be that cruel. Wouldn’t taunt him like that. Would he?

He stands up and opens the cupboard, pulling out a bottle of whiskey. Half-empty, half-full? Perspective, right? Half-empty then. The glass clinks as he puts it down, pouring it almost full to the brink. Closes his eyes and slowly empties it, the liquid burning his throat and warming his belly. Not his heart. Never his heart.

He turns around and opens his eyes. It’s still there. Still real. Not an imagination. He walks over and sits down again, running his fingers over the messy writing. Resting his thumb on the smudgy print, imagining the heat of his skin still lingering there.

Why? Why is it here? What does it mean? What does it all mean?

This is ridiculous.

He stands up again, fetching a knife from the drawer. Then sits down once again, turning the knife in his hand, resisting the ever present seduction if the cutting edge. With sudden determination he grabs the letter and slices it opens.

The card is simple. A field of snow that seems laughable in the California heat. A lonely tree in the distance. What is that supposed to mean? Him? Is the tree David? Or is the snow David and he’s the lonely tree standing naked and scrawny in the middle of all that beauty that is Him?

Why is he analysing a Christmas card?

His hand is trembling as he slowly opens it. No picture. No smiling wife or laughing kid. No panting dogs.

Not even words.

Just a number. And one letter. D.

He jerks as a sob bubbles up from the pit of his belly. Hides his face in the palm of his trembling hand as his whole body shakes.

18 months.

Fuck him! Fuck him for doing this. Fuck him for leaving. Fuck him for never calling. Fuck him for making it hurt so much that in the end there was nothing left inside his soul but the emptiness of life.

Fuck him for thinking he can just…

With an angry motion he wipes the tears from his eyes, the wetness from his cheeks. Who is he trying to fool?

 

The phone ringing on the other end is the most terrifying sound in the world.

fin

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [](http://fanfic100.livejournal.com/profile)[**fanfic100**](http://fanfic100.livejournal.com/), prompt #92: Christmas.


End file.
